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All Great Changes are Proceeded by Chaos

May 9, 2018
3 min

All Great Changes are Proceeded by Chaos

Change is hard. No one embraces change with ease or contentment…unless they are faced with such a dire circumstance that forces them to have a difficult mental discussion within their own head where change is imperative. I feel that is where I was. When I was diagnosed, almost a year ago I knew I had to make a serious change. At first it was easy, I was running on adrenaline and moving through the motions of appointments and scans. But then chemo started…the red “devil” prett

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Turning fret into faith.

Apr 3, 2018
3 min

Turning fret into faith.

Easter weekend 2017 will forever hold a place in my heart… quite an uncomfortable place to be honest. I was sitting on my mom’s bed, we were watching, “Passion of the Christ” and stuffing eggs for our Easter Egg Hunt the next day, on Easter Sunday. That is when I knew something was terribly wrong with my body. For months, my 10-month-old baby at the time had been trying to tell me something was wrong, but I ignored it…thinking it had to be a cluster of clogged ducts. (If you

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Beauty is Within

Mar 20, 2018
3 min

Beauty is Within

This is something I am learning and reminding myself of daily. When I was a child I don’t ever remember focusing on an outward appearance…of course as I grew that became more important. It makes my heart hurt to think I thought I was “bigger” when looking back, I was the thinnest I have ever been. Now here I am two babies later, nine months after being diagnosed with breast cancer and I feel as far from attractive as possible. Now most of you probably are taken aback by that

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Twisting in the Wind

Feb 17, 2018
3 min

Twisting in the Wind

Sometimes I feel like a sheep being pushed and guided toward this mysterious light that gives a false sense of security. I look around and see everyone else walking in that direction, so I cautiously move forward. In the back of my head the lioness in me starts to roar, I stop… the masses behind me keep moving forward almost pushing me forward too. I move myself out of the herd, I stand on the outside watching this huge crowd in tunnel vision, just trusting what is ahead. My

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Buh Bye Red Rollercoaster of (Not so Much) Fun

Jul 22, 2017
3 min

Buh Bye Red Rollercoaster of (Not so Much) Fun

This past Thursday, I finished my final AC infusion. This is the icky medicine that is harshest on the body, the one that makes hair fall out and the constant nauseated feeling. We call it bubble guts. It just feels bleh and doesn’t really go away. Some of the medicine I take helps, food helps, and my DiGize does a pretty good job…but this medicine is powerful stuff. THANK GOD, I am done with it (praying forever and ever). When I went to my infusion on Thursday, I wanted to t

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