be still and smile

Formal Definition: A DIEP flap is a type of breast reconstruction in which blood vessels called deep inferior epigastric perforators (DIEP), as well as the skin and fat connected to them, are removed from the lower abdomen and transferred to the chest to reconstruct a breast after mastectomy without the sacrifice of any of the abdominal muscles. Nine months ago, I had a unilateral mastectomy to remove the cancerous tumor, because it was the immediate need. I chose to leave my

Today marked my last day of radiation. I was more emotional than I thought I would be, but then again, I have been through a lot in the last eight months. My body has endured quite a few obstacles, this being another one. Yesterday, I met with my radiation oncologist and she took a look at my skin…she was very impressed by how well it held up. Then I asked, “So how do we know if the radiation worked?” And she simply responded with, “Well time will tell, there is no way to mea

Any other mamas feel like their car is an extension of their purse? My sweet, amazing, acts of service husband will clean out my car… I am sure more for his sanity than mine, but he will clean it out. Which I am grateful for, but what happens days later? Everything ends up back in my car. Why? We need ALL of the things. Whether that be socks, tissues, diapers, shoes, a stroller, books, Thieves, snacks, water bottles, toys...you name it we probably have it in my car. In severa

I have been processing information for the last few days, trying to figure out how to put it into words. The beginning of this journey was hard to grapple with, but as we learned more solid information our shoulders started to release, just a bit. I am a planner at heart, I love knowing what is ahead, and I started to feel okay with things once we had a plan. I set my sights for summer 2018 being the time when I would be my shiny new self and my family would get a chance to g

*A parody of Katy Perry's Hot n' Cold...based on hot flashes from chemotherapy* My body changes its mind Like my three year old's food aversion. Yeah, you, chemo Like a fun-sucker I would know And you make me over think Always typically Tactically I should know That you're no good for me [Chorus:] 'Cause I'm sweltering then I'm frigid, I'm yes to iced coffee, then I'm no One leg in then out from under our duvet, My brain is up then down Chemo is wrong when it's right Makes li

This past Thursday, I finished my final AC infusion. This is the icky medicine that is harshest on the body, the one that makes hair fall out and the constant nauseated feeling. We call it bubble guts. It just feels bleh and doesn’t really go away. Some of the medicine I take helps, food helps, and my DiGize does a pretty good job…but this medicine is powerful stuff. THANK GOD, I am done with it (praying forever and ever). When I went to my infusion on Thursday, I wanted to t

Many think of this phrase when it comes to raising children, and is no doubt truth. But lately this phrase is how we are managing our lives right now, in this chapter of my life. We have so many different people involved to help our day run smoothly (who I firmly believe we would not be able to function without). Right when anyone is diagnosed with cancer you don't just have one doctor, suddenly you choose a team of doctors to work with you. Breast Surgeon- she is the first p

I was nervous walking into my first chemotherapy infusion. You already read my post about how waiting is the hardest part, well now all the waiting was over. The battle was officially about to begin. As Evan and I walked in with my two bags, tears sprung to my eyes. My stomach was rolling and my brain was saying, “You must be mistaken, this is not right, turn around and run out those doors, just go, you don’t belong here.” But my feet kept moving forwar d, Evan made a joke wh

In this whole rollercoaster ride, the waiting is the hardest part. The anticipation of what is to come…how it’ll feel, so many questions swirl around your head, will it hurt? Will I be the one who hardly feels anything? How much can I function in my home with two little girls? Exactly two weeks after I was diagnosed with breast cancer I went to get my port placed. It is an outpatient, short surgery. Evan and I checked in to the hospital, they came in to do an EKG, just to hav

For those of you that know me pretty well know that I am not a medicine woman. I don’t even take Tylenol y’all. For my first birth, I knew I didn’t want an epidural, but I did take the “margarita” drug which was fentanyl to ease the pain, but with my second birth I wanted zero medication…I only used my beloved Young Living Essential Oils to ease my pain. So here we are one year after my unmedicated birth and I am about to be infused with DRUGS. Straight up toxic drugs. And st