be still and smile

Three years ago I had an impressive baby belly with what I would soon to find out was an 8 lb 9 oz baby in my womb. My first born came right on time, on her due date (at 9 lbs). So I had an inkling that my second would come early. This go round I decided to choose a mid-wife which was the best decision I could ever make. Being a first time mom, I had no idea what I was doing. I just felt like I was thrown into the Spanish running of the bulls, trying to keep up. I denied the

Formal Definition: A DIEP flap is a type of breast reconstruction in which blood vessels called deep inferior epigastric perforators (DIEP), as well as the skin and fat connected to them, are removed from the lower abdomen and transferred to the chest to reconstruct a breast after mastectomy without the sacrifice of any of the abdominal muscles. Nine months ago, I had a unilateral mastectomy to remove the cancerous tumor, because it was the immediate need. I chose to leave my

Two years ago, I had a gorgeous belly protruding, waiting for a darling daughter to emerge. I had stopped working my daycare and we had people coming to visit the house to see if they wanted to rent it out. I remember sitting on our cozy chair by the window, just peering out and I knew I would have my little girl that day. A few contractions and potential renters later, we decided to make the trek toward Castle Rock, by the hospital to be on the safe side. Halen’s birth was p

Today four years ago, I became a mother. The thing I wanted most in this world, besides being Evan's wife. I was given that gorgeous gift with a daughter, straight from above. I planned so precisely for that moment and when it arrived she completely took my breath away. Not much can be explained like a mother’s love. It is unexplainable…the power, the depth, the feeling that you would do absolutely anything in the world for that being, and that starts from in the womb, to the

When I found out we were pregnant with Henley, I was elated to have two daughters. Visions of their sisterhood immediately danced into my dreams and how it would be filled with sleepovers, giggles in the backseat, pinky promises, secret languages, inside jokes and an entire relationship that would be created between the two of them aside from me. I was eager to choose a H to begin with both of their names, another way to link them forever. I never had a sister, but watched my

In this whole rollercoaster ride, the waiting is the hardest part. The anticipation of what is to come…how it’ll feel, so many questions swirl around your head, will it hurt? Will I be the one who hardly feels anything? How much can I function in my home with two little girls? Exactly two weeks after I was diagnosed with breast cancer I went to get my port placed. It is an outpatient, short surgery. Evan and I checked in to the hospital, they came in to do an EKG, just to hav

Today Nene came into town to play with the girls so Evan and I could run errands. Our first stop was at LiveStrong, we met a really kind lady who gave us a packet of information, but there weren’t support groups like in the past. Next stop was trying to locate the Breast Cancer Resource Center; we finally filled out my form to have someone reach out to me. Then Evan and I went to lunch, we found Veggie Heaven downtown, it was surprisingly delicious. We got spicy edamame, miso