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Dear Daughters,

I am so thankful for you both.

When I was a girl all I ever played at and pretended was “house” and being a mom. With the help of the Lord my dream came into fruition.

You both have changed my world.

You help me yearn to be better with every breath I take.

You remind me what a child-like faith is. You remind me how to trust, how to be brave and how to love everyone regardless of our differences.

You both give me courage, grit and help me open the door to being the best version of myself.

Tomorrow I will have to say goodbye to a large part of me. The part that gave me the ability to grow you in my belly and give birth to you.

It is not a choice I made, but one that was made for me.

Regardless how many pieces of my physical body cancer wants to take from me, know that your body is not what really makes you, you. Your soul, the way you treat people, your faith, your zeal…that is what makes up you. In Heaven we will be made new, so do not be afraid my darlings.

In your short years of life you have seen your mama face quite an ordeal.

You help me be bold. You help me fight this fight. You help me find peace.

When you see my scars, when you see all that cancer has taken from me… you don’t bat an eye, for to you both… I am your mama and that is all that ever matters to me.

I know God knew what he was doing when he sent you both to me when he did. For his timing is perfect. He knew I would need you when I did. For your presence fills me with strength. Your lives give me purpose and instills the fight in me.

I am so grateful to have been given the gift of being your mama. It is the greatest badge of honor I could ever wear.

When you have faced what I face, you quickly learn it is not about the car my darlings or the house or the clothes. It is not about the money or the job. Please never let those things steal your time and your heart.

It is about the lives that fill your days. The ones who show up and never stop showing up. It is about the family you create. It is about the friends who become family. It is about your constant trust and faith in God’s promise that despite this broken world He has won. It is about helping others. It is about kindness, no matter the situation.

Thank you my darlings. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Every morning you take my breath away. I am so blessed.

Whenever you feel scared, whenever you feel alone, whenever you feel the world is weighing in on you, sing these words, our God is mighty, He is always present and He is always good.

I raise a hallelujah, in the presence of my enemies I raise a hallelujah, louder than the unbelief I raise a hallelujah, my weapon is a melody I raise a hallelujah, heaven comes to fight for me

I'm gonna sing, in the middle of the storm Louder and louder, you're gonna hear my praises roar Up from the ashes, hope will arise Death is defeated, the King is alive!

I raise a hallelujah, with everything inside of me I raise a hallelujah, I will watch the darkness flee I raise a hallelujah, in the middle of the mystery I raise a hallelujah, fear you lost your hold on me!

I'm gonna sing, in the middle of the storm Louder and louder, you're gonna hear my praises roar Up from the ashes, hope will arise Death is defeated, the King is alive!

~Bethel Music

I will be singing these lyrics as I go back to surgery, I will be singing these lyrics as I recover.

I love you both more than every star in the Rocky Mountain sky and more than every grain of sand on the Sleeping Bear Dunes.


Your Mama

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