be still and smile

I am so thankful for you both. When I was a girl all I ever played at and pretended was “house” and being a mom. With the help of the Lord my dream came into fruition. You both have changed my world. You help me yearn to be better with every breath I take. You remind me what a child-like faith is. You remind me how to trust, how to be brave and how to love everyone regardless of our differences. You both give me courage, grit and help me open the door to being the best versio

Three years ago I had an impressive baby belly with what I would soon to find out was an 8 lb 9 oz baby in my womb. My first born came right on time, on her due date (at 9 lbs). So I had an inkling that my second would come early. This go round I decided to choose a mid-wife which was the best decision I could ever make. Being a first time mom, I had no idea what I was doing. I just felt like I was thrown into the Spanish running of the bulls, trying to keep up. I denied the

I have been quite overwhelmed lately. Life just seems to be on full attack from all angles. Fear mongering is e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e and it is driving me bananas. I have never been one to cower in fear, hide or close myself up. I am usually quite the extrovert. But lately, I just am becoming more and more of a homebody… I feel so safe and strong in my bubble. Then I have to go outside, and from the first step on my porch I feel like I need to wear my armor. Everything I believe

Two years ago, I had a gorgeous belly protruding, waiting for a darling daughter to emerge. I had stopped working my daycare and we had people coming to visit the house to see if they wanted to rent it out. I remember sitting on our cozy chair by the window, just peering out and I knew I would have my little girl that day. A few contractions and potential renters later, we decided to make the trek toward Castle Rock, by the hospital to be on the safe side. Halen’s birth was p

Today four years ago, I became a mother. The thing I wanted most in this world, besides being Evan's wife. I was given that gorgeous gift with a daughter, straight from above. I planned so precisely for that moment and when it arrived she completely took my breath away. Not much can be explained like a mother’s love. It is unexplainable…the power, the depth, the feeling that you would do absolutely anything in the world for that being, and that starts from in the womb, to the

As I watch these Christmas movies with inevitable happy ever after, it makes me think back on my life. The choices I made, the decisions that led to me to where I am today… and what I would do differently. I’ve always been a fairytale girl, and God gently reminds me that people are incapable of fulfilling that desire within me. But, I think we can come close. Christmas is bringing a lot of emotion my way, and I have had a hard time getting into the spirit. I feel like this ba

I remember having pre-game jitters as a kid...t-ball. Being the center of attention when you were up to bat and that nervousness that would overcome me. I had serious jitters when I played Mary in our church's Christmas play...literally forgot all my lines when it was time to perform and stood there completely blank. I always remember having jitters before Christmas morning, I think that was more of the exciting jitters though. Definitely had jitters when it came to my weddin

When I found out we were pregnant with Henley, I was elated to have two daughters. Visions of their sisterhood immediately danced into my dreams and how it would be filled with sleepovers, giggles in the backseat, pinky promises, secret languages, inside jokes and an entire relationship that would be created between the two of them aside from me. I was eager to choose a H to begin with both of their names, another way to link them forever. I never had a sister, but watched my

For those of you that know me pretty well know that I am not a medicine woman. I don’t even take Tylenol y’all. For my first birth, I knew I didn’t want an epidural, but I did take the “margarita” drug which was fentanyl to ease the pain, but with my second birth I wanted zero medication…I only used my beloved Young Living Essential Oils to ease my pain. So here we are one year after my unmedicated birth and I am about to be infused with DRUGS. Straight up toxic drugs. And st