be still and smile

Search

The Last Staircase

Jul 12, 2019
4 min

The Last Staircase

When I was 9 years old my parents took me skiing and on our last run I had to go down the River Run. It was the steep, icy LAST run before apres ski. And I was not budging. No matter how much my mom tried to coax me into following her down, the fear in me crept so high I just wasn’t going to move an inch. I begged her to call up the emergency vehicles to take me down. Thankfully my mom refused to be swayed by my fear and we took a very, v-e-r-y slow (pie-ing allllll the way d

99 views0 comments

Hope And Fear Of All The Years Are Met In Thee Tonight

Dec 18, 2018
3 min

Hope And Fear Of All The Years Are Met In Thee Tonight

During this season of Christmas, many embrace joy and gladness. The twinkling lights dazzle and the spirit of the season stirs up an awakening of magic and…hope. Others are experiencing, struggles and the reminder of such a season of cheer drowns them in their own despair and brings relentless thoughts of fear. Both of these feelings are completely valid and are allowed to co-mingle during the season of Christmas. The message I learned at church this past Sunday focused on ju

40 views0 comments

I Have Cancer and Yes, I Still Have To Do Chores

Nov 19, 2018
2 min

I Have Cancer and Yes, I Still Have To Do Chores

My husband and I have this ongoing argument about daily life. I am the whimsical, laid-back, easy breezy one who knows everything will be okay. Well you can imagine what happened to that when cancer hit… I really could care less about petty stuff. To me why does a clean house matter? Why do the clothes have to be folded RIGHT now? Why does STUFF matter? To me things are just things. What matters to me most are emotions, relationships, experiences, people, moments, memories. F

48 views0 comments

It’s November 4th And Yes I Still Have Cancer.

Nov 5, 2018
2 min

It’s November 4th And Yes I Still Have Cancer.

All the pink banners, balloons, ribbons and such have come down… and yet I and thousands of other women still have cancer. How nice it must be for those on Instagram or Facebook to be able to just scroll by a post about breast cancer and not give it another thought. For survivors, we don’t get to opt out of cancer after October ends. It is in our every waking hour. I talk to other women and they get emotional five years out, 10 years out… do you know why? Because cancer never

257 views0 comments

Wounds

Oct 1, 2018
2 min

Wounds

Healing from anything is difficult and takes time. Regardless of that wound being physical, emotional or mental. With a battle of breast cancer, I have dealt with wounds in all three categories. Sometimes at the same time, sometimes at all different times. Some were expected, and some were unexpected. Dealing with wounds is similar to grief, and in many ways those wounds are grief. In grief there are several natural steps your body goes through to work out the wound. I have f

119 views0 comments

I Have No Shame Being The Wellness Mama.

Sep 24, 2018
4 min

I Have No Shame Being The Wellness Mama.

My oldest daughter is fixated on treats. Currently if my four-year-old wipes her bottom herself (cleanly) then she gets a treat, if my two-year-old goes potty on the potty, she gets a treat. So now they try every opportunity to do these things to get a treat. When did childhood = sugar??? Makes me cringe. For us treats are ones I have thoroughly read the label on from Whole Foods or the natural side of HEB or Trader Joes. Usually a gummy treat where I can read every single in

56 views0 comments

The Magnitude of 33

Sep 11, 2018
2 min

The Magnitude of 33

Crying aloud as you entered the world; The world needed you, you had purpose. Growing with grace and the unfolding of a beautiful childhood; Teaching every chance you could get, people marveled at your presence. Life could be difficult, but you always chose the bright side; You lived a perfect life. Beautiful relationships transpired; Friendships were made, even though you knew they would forsake you. A life was built, one you had dreamed of; You knew your time was coming to

72 views0 comments

Ordinary

Sep 4, 2018
3 min

Ordinary

Most of us, especially those in my generation, were raised with affirmations like, “You are so special. You can do anything you put your mind to. Go change the world.” At first glance, you make think. ROCK ON. Heck yes, get up and do the thing. I was the same way for most of my life. I am thankful for the affirmations, as I have realized my love language is words of affirmation, this helped shape my confidence, my determined nature and my sense of security within myself. Howe

55 views0 comments

Reclaiming The Summer Cancer Stole From Me Part 4

Aug 14, 2018
8 min

Reclaiming The Summer Cancer Stole From Me Part 4

9th Stop: Wheeler Road As we winded back through the tunnel of trees toward Traverse City, we decided to explore some uncharted territory up Mission Peninsula. It was time for a stop and we quickly spotted a brewery tucked amongst the tall trees beside the gorgeous lake. We walked in and got a few local brews, the girls danced on the softest grass and we smiled with God’s glory all around us. It was a happy moment. We got hints of the Cherry Festival, the gargantuan festival

43 views0 comments

Reclaiming the Summer Cancer Stole From Me Part 2

Aug 6, 2018
4 min

Reclaiming the Summer Cancer Stole From Me Part 2

Our fifth stop was Bloomington, Indiana. We realized we were just a few hours from Aunt Lisa and Uncle Jeff’s house and decided to head out of Kentucky and up that way. We arrived earlier than planned and found a nice park right outside Indiana University in Bloomington. We went on a walk and collected leaves from all the different trees we found (close to 10, impressive!), the girls got some wiggles out and we enjoyed not having an agenda. Finally, we wound down the long gra

21 views0 comments

From Blasé to Bold

Jul 9, 2018
2 min

From Blasé to Bold

These days it is so easy to just kick your feet up and relax without feeling the pressure to exert yourself. Many have welcomed a blasé attitude toward working hard and exercise, brushing aside it’s rising importance. For survivors and warriors of any kind, we do not have this luxury… our bodies are being compromised, stretched, poked, prodded, pulled, pushed, and exhausted by medicines fighting diseases within. Which gives us all the more reason to focus on exercise. I want

96 views0 comments

To Us.

Jul 1, 2018
4 min

To Us.

When you choose (God chooses) the person you will spend the rest of your life with, and you go through the smitten phase, the “I’m the Queen of America” stage (aka when he proposed...yes I said this out loud 🤣), to the googly eyed wedding planning phase, to OMG I am walking down the aisle...to the point where you say the vows you’ve poured over and worked on for months. When you are gazing into the eyes of the person you are vowing to spend the rest of your life with...as yo

81 views0 comments

Why Doing the Hard Things As A Mom is Necessary

Jun 21, 2018
4 min

Why Doing the Hard Things As A Mom is Necessary

Mom shaming vs. constructive criticism Oftentimes as moms we get overwhelmed, frustrated, and our stress runs high. Everyone is telling us how to parent, book after book, blog after blog, advice after advice. Whatever happened to listening to our intuition? What ever happened to confidence as a parent, that what we choose to do is right for our kid… right for our family. Why do we as moms care so much about what other people think and say about how we parent? I am embarrassed

62 views0 comments

Hung the Moon

Jun 17, 2018
5 min

Hung the Moon

When I was little…My dad hung the moon. Our saying became, “I love you to the moon and back a million, trillion, bajillion times.” We always tried to outdo each other with how many “kazillion” type terms we could come up with. My dad created so many unique memories for me as a child, he always made my opinion important, even from a young age. He was a big wig exec at a music label and would put the giant headphones on my ears to give my opinion of the latest “hit” before radi

104 views0 comments

A Mother's Love is Peace

May 13, 2018
2 min

A Mother's Love is Peace

Last year at this time, I had no idea what was coming. I was living in my own mother’s house (again), I was buried in motherhood of two little children… almost 3 and almost 1 year old girls. I was drowning in poop, breastfeeding, spit up, an in-home daycare business, my marriage…I hardly had time to think, let alone think of myself. This year I think about motherhood and the word that most describes the mothering I experienced and the mothering I want my children to experienc

110 views0 comments

Blueberry Eyes in the Sky

May 4, 2018
4 min

Blueberry Eyes in the Sky

Today four years ago, I became a mother. The thing I wanted most in this world, besides being Evan's wife. I was given that gorgeous gift with a daughter, straight from above. I planned so precisely for that moment and when it arrived she completely took my breath away. Not much can be explained like a mother’s love. It is unexplainable…the power, the depth, the feeling that you would do absolutely anything in the world for that being, and that starts from in the womb, to the

80 views0 comments

Tips for Mamas on Healthy Changes in the Kitchen

Apr 28, 2018
6 min

Tips for Mamas on Healthy Changes in the Kitchen

Hey hey mamas! So, I am on day 26 of my Whole30 challenge and I feel amazing. Wow have I seen serious changes! I truly feel like all I had to do was change my mindset and then it all fell into place. I have struggled with my weight/appearance for the last 10+ years. I know much of that was my own mental game, where I needed to extend myself more grace, acceptance, and self-love. However, society does not promote that. I tried everything, every diet, every idea, even some scar

52 views0 comments

Beauty is Within

Mar 20, 2018
3 min

Beauty is Within

This is something I am learning and reminding myself of daily. When I was a child I don’t ever remember focusing on an outward appearance…of course as I grew that became more important. It makes my heart hurt to think I thought I was “bigger” when looking back, I was the thinnest I have ever been. Now here I am two babies later, nine months after being diagnosed with breast cancer and I feel as far from attractive as possible. Now most of you probably are taken aback by that

110 views0 comments

Out of Control

Dec 11, 2017
3 min

Out of Control

I have been processing information for the last few days, trying to figure out how to put it into words. The beginning of this journey was hard to grapple with, but as we learned more solid information our shoulders started to release, just a bit. I am a planner at heart, I love knowing what is ahead, and I started to feel okay with things once we had a plan. I set my sights for summer 2018 being the time when I would be my shiny new self and my family would get a chance to g

284 views0 comments

If I Would Have Known

Dec 9, 2017
4 min

If I Would Have Known

As I watch these Christmas movies with inevitable happy ever after, it makes me think back on my life. The choices I made, the decisions that led to me to where I am today… and what I would do differently. I’ve always been a fairytale girl, and God gently reminds me that people are incapable of fulfilling that desire within me. But, I think we can come close. Christmas is bringing a lot of emotion my way, and I have had a hard time getting into the spirit. I feel like this ba

155 views0 comments