top of page

be still and smile

Search

These Aren't Your Oreos

Dec 6, 2019
4 min

These Aren't Your Oreos

Do you remember that scene in Finding Nemo with the seagulls all yelling, “Mine, mine, MINE!” I think of that scene every year around Christmas time, I cringe thinking of children behaving that way on Christmas morning tearing through gift after gift without an ounce of gratitude. One of the most joyous times of year with perpetual hope is also one of the times when many are the most apt to put self before others... Why is that? We have Thanksgiving which is when everyone pos

39 views0 comments

The Who

May 12, 2019
3 min

The Who

May is the motherload (pun intended) of months for me as a mom. Both my daughters are born in May and my cancer-versary is in May. This gives me a lot of time to ponder the meaning of motherhood and of course to analyze myself to see if I am on the track I thought I’d be on. Re-evaluate myself, push myself, pray and try to really tune in to my girls and our life. Lately, I feel myself being pulled in so many different directions, say yes to all of the things and feeling like

88 views0 comments

What I Like About Sundays

Mar 18, 2019
2 min

What I Like About Sundays

What do Sundays mean to you? For me Sundays = family. Family and food. Family, food and Jesus. Sundays are when we wake up slow, when the crackling of bacon and sizzle of eggs is heard and the smell wafts through our home, bringing the family together. Sundays are when coffee beans are ground and the whistle of our tea kettle takes on the role of our rooster in the home, reminding us it is time to wake up. Sundays are the day I relish in cozying in my spot on the couch where

39 views0 comments

"Mama Sit Down."

Feb 5, 2019
2 min

"Mama Sit Down."

“Mama sit down.” These are the famous words I hear at 8:02 every evening. When I am spent. Every ounce of my energy has been zapped, every morsel of anything left to give has been dried up. I. Am. Done. And yet, mothering is never done. Each night when I put my 2 ½ year old in her bed, she says to me, “I have to go potty.” I am immediately filled with dread. My inner monologue begins:" Why? Why now? Do I have to take her to the bathroom? Of course, you have to take her to the

92 views0 comments

A Letter to My Mother-in-Law

Feb 1, 2019
2 min

A Letter to My Mother-in-Law

Dear Carol, As I look at my daughters’ blue eyes, energetic twirls over to wrestle with their daddy… my heart aches. I suppose it is a heartache that is both full of happiness and one that has an aching of emptiness. I was never able to meet you, never able to hug you or dance with you at our wedding. I was never able to hand our brand new baby girl over to you, which we named after you… But the biggest thing that comes to mind, is that I was never able to thank you. Thank yo

126 views0 comments

Hope And Fear Of All The Years Are Met In Thee Tonight

Dec 18, 2018
3 min

Hope And Fear Of All The Years Are Met In Thee Tonight

During this season of Christmas, many embrace joy and gladness. The twinkling lights dazzle and the spirit of the season stirs up an awakening of magic and…hope. Others are experiencing, struggles and the reminder of such a season of cheer drowns them in their own despair and brings relentless thoughts of fear. Both of these feelings are completely valid and are allowed to co-mingle during the season of Christmas. The message I learned at church this past Sunday focused on ju

41 views0 comments

Ordinary

Sep 4, 2018
3 min

Ordinary

Most of us, especially those in my generation, were raised with affirmations like, “You are so special. You can do anything you put your mind to. Go change the world.” At first glance, you make think. ROCK ON. Heck yes, get up and do the thing. I was the same way for most of my life. I am thankful for the affirmations, as I have realized my love language is words of affirmation, this helped shape my confidence, my determined nature and my sense of security within myself. Howe

55 views0 comments

Reclaiming the Summer Cancer Stole From Me Part 2

Aug 6, 2018
4 min

Reclaiming the Summer Cancer Stole From Me Part 2

Our fifth stop was Bloomington, Indiana. We realized we were just a few hours from Aunt Lisa and Uncle Jeff’s house and decided to head out of Kentucky and up that way. We arrived earlier than planned and found a nice park right outside Indiana University in Bloomington. We went on a walk and collected leaves from all the different trees we found (close to 10, impressive!), the girls got some wiggles out and we enjoyed not having an agenda. Finally, we wound down the long gra

23 views0 comments

To Us.

Jul 1, 2018
4 min

To Us.

When you choose (God chooses) the person you will spend the rest of your life with, and you go through the smitten phase, the “I’m the Queen of America” stage (aka when he proposed...yes I said this out loud 🤣), to the googly eyed wedding planning phase, to OMG I am walking down the aisle...to the point where you say the vows you’ve poured over and worked on for months. When you are gazing into the eyes of the person you are vowing to spend the rest of your life with...as yo

81 views0 comments

Hung the Moon

Jun 17, 2018
5 min

Hung the Moon

When I was little…My dad hung the moon. Our saying became, “I love you to the moon and back a million, trillion, bajillion times.” We always tried to outdo each other with how many “kazillion” type terms we could come up with. My dad created so many unique memories for me as a child, he always made my opinion important, even from a young age. He was a big wig exec at a music label and would put the giant headphones on my ears to give my opinion of the latest “hit” before radi

182 views0 comments

My arrow…always pointing me to love.

May 23, 2018
4 min

My arrow…always pointing me to love.

Two years ago, I had a gorgeous belly protruding, waiting for a darling daughter to emerge. I had stopped working my daycare and we had people coming to visit the house to see if they wanted to rent it out. I remember sitting on our cozy chair by the window, just peering out and I knew I would have my little girl that day. A few contractions and potential renters later, we decided to make the trek toward Castle Rock, by the hospital to be on the safe side. Halen’s birth was p

63 views0 comments

Blueberry Eyes in the Sky

May 4, 2018
4 min

Blueberry Eyes in the Sky

Today four years ago, I became a mother. The thing I wanted most in this world, besides being Evan's wife. I was given that gorgeous gift with a daughter, straight from above. I planned so precisely for that moment and when it arrived she completely took my breath away. Not much can be explained like a mother’s love. It is unexplainable…the power, the depth, the feeling that you would do absolutely anything in the world for that being, and that starts from in the womb, to the

81 views0 comments

Tips for Mamas on Healthy Changes in the Kitchen

Apr 28, 2018
6 min

Tips for Mamas on Healthy Changes in the Kitchen

Hey hey mamas! So, I am on day 26 of my Whole30 challenge and I feel amazing. Wow have I seen serious changes! I truly feel like all I had to do was change my mindset and then it all fell into place. I have struggled with my weight/appearance for the last 10+ years. I know much of that was my own mental game, where I needed to extend myself more grace, acceptance, and self-love. However, society does not promote that. I tried everything, every diet, every idea, even some scar

52 views0 comments

Mommin' on Xeloda

Apr 10, 2018
5 min

Mommin' on Xeloda

It all starts with my Monday morning alarm reminding me that it is time to hit the pavement and #nevermissamonday. During this time, I feel alive and love pushing my limits. I try to ignore the pain in my hands and feet. When I arrive home, I am greeted by my happy-go-lucky firstborn. I have to remind myself to get my morning supplements in before #chemobrain sets in and I forget. Then, I attempt to get my #jesustime in by focusing on my bible study while H eats her cereal an

85 views0 comments

My car is basically my purse.

Jan 26, 2018
1 min

My car is basically my purse.

Any other mamas feel like their car is an extension of their purse? My sweet, amazing, acts of service husband will clean out my car… I am sure more for his sanity than mine, but he will clean it out. Which I am grateful for, but what happens days later? Everything ends up back in my car. Why? We need ALL of the things. Whether that be socks, tissues, diapers, shoes, a stroller, books, Thieves, snacks, water bottles, toys...you name it we probably have it in my car. In severa

77 views0 comments

Through a Mama's Lens

Jan 5, 2018
2 min

Through a Mama's Lens

Since my child was born I have been ecstatic to share all of Disney with her. Even when she was so tiny, sleeping in her Moses basket, I would put on whatever Disney movie I could find on Netflix, just to have it on. My over-excitement to become a mother was truly busting at the seams. Then when my daughter started showing interest in movies/shows I would again get giddy to share some of my beloved movies and cartoons from my childhood. But, watching them from a mother’s pers

64 views0 comments

If I Would Have Known

Dec 9, 2017
4 min

If I Would Have Known

As I watch these Christmas movies with inevitable happy ever after, it makes me think back on my life. The choices I made, the decisions that led to me to where I am today… and what I would do differently. I’ve always been a fairytale girl, and God gently reminds me that people are incapable of fulfilling that desire within me. But, I think we can come close. Christmas is bringing a lot of emotion my way, and I have had a hard time getting into the spirit. I feel like this ba

156 views0 comments

Sometimes you just need to get lost.
Lost Pines, Texas

Dec 3, 2017
5 min

Sometimes you just need to get lost. Lost Pines, Texas

Once my 16 chemotherapy treatments were completed and with my imminent surgery which would leave me destabilized for a while, I knew I wanted time away with my family. Plus, our family decided experiences were vital from this point forward. I emailed a few hotels around the city to see what my options were. When I emailed with Jeanie, from Hyatt Lost Pines Resort and Spa, I was thrilled to put together a weekend stay. Her vision, above and beyond generosity, and individualize

52 views0 comments

Why it is important to fill your cup.

Nov 27, 2017
4 min

Why it is important to fill your cup.

As moms, we are told to take care of ourselves, “Nap when the baby naps!” but oftentimes we shrug this off because we are “too busy” taking care of everyone else. And just as the flight attendants will say, obtain oxygen for yourself and then turn to help your loved ones. But do we operate like that from day to day? Most of the time I would say, no. That is until we are given a reality check in life where God is gently nudging us to put ourselves first, so that we can be help

152 views0 comments

Hardly Recognizable

Nov 10, 2017
3 min

Hardly Recognizable

Here I am four months after all my hair fell out. It was a traumatic scene for me (read about it here) and what felt like it would take forever is now right in front of me. In May, November seemed eons away and now I am inching my way closer to phase two of my cancer journey. Getting used to myself without hair took some time, and now that it is growing back I am out of my comfort zone. The last time I had hair this short I was probably 5-6 months old. And now that my hair is

98 views0 comments

bottom of page