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On The Outside Looking In

It’s interesting how human beings work. We judge, and judge often. We don’t necessarily mean to, it is just human nature.

Judging someone’s choice of clothing…

Did they look in the mirror when they walked out of the house this morning?


Did that woman really choose that short hair cut?

The way they raise their children…

God forbid they let their children dress themselves, or not wipe their nose the instant it needs wiping.

The way their house looks…

Is that breakfast on the floor from this morning? …the list goes on.

By the time we realize we are judging, the judgement has already taken place. On the outside looking in we think someone should be doing a better job, but most of the time we have no idea of the circumstances.

As Christmas approachedd I was hit with the blues. I was sad to be stuck and not able to travel. I was sad because I didn’t know what kind of Christmas we could give our girls this year. On the outside looking in, we seem to have it altogether…our decent house, our new(ish) cars, the smiles…Evan and I finally sat down to figure out how we were going to accomplish Christmas this year, when I received a phone call from the Breast Cancer Resource Center. My navigator asked me if we would let a family sponsor us for Christmas. My initial reaction? I felt undeserving. There are families who could truly be blessed with this gift. My Breast Cancer Resource Center Navigator told me this family was affected by cancer six years ago and this is how they give back every year.

With tears in my eyes, I finally accepted, because of my daughters. I sent them our list that we have been adding to over the year. For example, we need to update Henley’s car seat, but haven’t been able to. I couldn’t think of what to put on the list for myself, and really all I wanted was my daughters’ happiness this Christmas.

Sitting on the back porch a week later and I received another phone call…it was from our Santa Claus, they asked if they could deliver that afternoon. Tears streamed down my face with gratitude, because I still could not believe this was happening for my girls. The delivery came a few days before Christmas, a truck filled to the brim…for us. What? The couple was so incredibly nice. In all honesty, as they pulled up Evan and I felt guilty…what would they think of our home and our relatively new cars? We didn’t deserve a Christmas to be given to us like this, did we? The kind lady reminded me that cancer does not discriminate…it attacks anyone, rich, poor, and somewhere in between. She told me about her sister who was diagnosed with lymphoma six years ago…she was wealthy and everyone thought from the outside her financial situation was fine, but on the inside, they were sinking. Their family was on the verge of going bankrupt from her treatment, health tests, etc…the financial burden became great.

Everything she said was true.

But God is good, He provides. When we were uncertain about Christmas, we received that phone call.

The faces of the giving family were absolutely delighted. They were so excited to give back to us. My mom was there and tears streamed down her face watching this all take place. We learned their whole office sponsored our family, so little bits of our list came from different people in their office.

Gosh how amazing would it be if more companies sponsored families who are struck with different battles at Christmas?

We stored the gifts in the garage, so we could bring them out to truly surprise the girls on Christmas morning. After all was stored away, we woke the girls to meet our Santa Claus. We talked, the girls played, and after profusely thanking them away they went. This gift inspired us to be on the other side of this coin a few Christmases from now, when my cancer nightmare is no longer on the forefront of our lives. We can’t wait to give this gift to a family affected by cancer one day.

On Christmas morning, after carefully placing each gift around our small tree, we opened the girls’ doors. They walked out to a fire roaring in the fireplace and stockings filled with goodies. That day all of my worries melted away, cancer wasn’t on the forefront of my mind, and I cherished my darling family all day long… watching their faces light up as they received their gifts, hearing my eldest daughter vocalize that Santa brought her what was on her list, laughing, eating and enjoying the day of which our Lord and Savior made special for us. We rejoice because Jesus was sent to earth to save us from ourselves and reconnect us with the Lord above. What a wonderful day wrapped up for us.

To our Santa Claus, we thank you…this Christmas was full of wonder and magic.

We will pay this forward one day.

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