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I remember having pre-game jitters as a kid...t-ball. Being the center of attention when you were up to bat and that nervousness that would overcome me.

I had serious jitters when I played Mary in our church's Christmas play...literally forgot all my lines when it was time to perform and stood there completely blank.

I always remember having jitters before Christmas morning, I think that was more of the exciting jitters though.

Definitely had jitters when it came to my wedding day, thrilling jitters for I knew the rest of my life was about to begin. Nervous jitters before my daughter's were born, as I was so head strong in my plan that I was nervous to have to fight for the unmedicated birth I so desired.

But no life experience could quite prepare me for the jitters I would feel the night before my mastectomy. I felt weepy and emotional...I was literally losing a body part. A body part that served a very important purpose for me. My husband and I stayed up late completing a breast cast to keep for our sake.

I think my girls could even sense my jitters, or that something serious was happening soon. Both had a difficult time going to sleep and both wound up in my bed by 5 am... I don't know if the four of us have ever been in bed together (attempting to sleep all at once anyway).

So here I sit, hours before my impending major surgery. At this point I am eager to wake up post-op and begin the healing process. My right breast served me well, she deserves a salute for all she's provided me in this life. My breastfeeding days depended on her greatly. But now, her service has been complete. I pray that God calms my heart, moves through my surgeon's hands, and guides me toward a full, smooth recovery.

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