be still and smile

Healing from anything is difficult and takes time. Regardless of that wound being physical, emotional or mental. With a battle of breast cancer, I have dealt with wounds in all three categories. Sometimes at the same time, sometimes at all different times. Some were expected, and some were unexpected. Dealing with wounds is similar to grief, and in many ways those wounds are grief. In grief there are several natural steps your body goes through to work out the wound. I have f

Today I am having another mastectomy and reconstruction surgery. It is the biggest, longest surgery I will have to go through in this cancer battle. It will be a grueling recovery, even more so since I have little ones at home. I cannot lift for 3 months and I have a two-year-old. I was sad to see my rightie go back in November, but to be completely honest I am sadder this time around to see lefty go. Why? Well lefty was the good side. Lefty is where my girls spent most of th

These days it is so easy to just kick your feet up and relax without feeling the pressure to exert yourself. Many have welcomed a blasé attitude toward working hard and exercise, brushing aside it’s rising importance. For survivors and warriors of any kind, we do not have this luxury… our bodies are being compromised, stretched, poked, prodded, pulled, pushed, and exhausted by medicines fighting diseases within. Which gives us all the more reason to focus on exercise. I want

Change is hard. No one embraces change with ease or contentment…unless they are faced with such a dire circumstance that forces them to have a difficult mental discussion within their own head where change is imperative. I feel that is where I was. When I was diagnosed, almost a year ago I knew I had to make a serious change. At first it was easy, I was running on adrenaline and moving through the motions of appointments and scans. But then chemo started…the red “devil” prett

Our church is doing a special series on mental health called, The Unmentionables. The first one was last week and it was fantastic. I love that our pastor isn’t afraid to speak beyond the fluff, to core issues that our society deals with…even if they aren’t PC. Last week the focus was on depression, anxiety and suicide… it didn’t take long for tears to start streaming down my face during the sermon as he discussed the ins and outs of what anxiety and depression really are. Be

It all starts with my Monday morning alarm reminding me that it is time to hit the pavement and #nevermissamonday. During this time, I feel alive and love pushing my limits. I try to ignore the pain in my hands and feet. When I arrive home, I am greeted by my happy-go-lucky firstborn. I have to remind myself to get my morning supplements in before #chemobrain sets in and I forget. Then, I attempt to get my #jesustime in by focusing on my bible study while H eats her cereal an

Easter weekend 2017 will forever hold a place in my heart… quite an uncomfortable place to be honest. I was sitting on my mom’s bed, we were watching, “Passion of the Christ” and stuffing eggs for our Easter Egg Hunt the next day, on Easter Sunday. That is when I knew something was terribly wrong with my body. For months, my 10-month-old baby at the time had been trying to tell me something was wrong, but I ignored it…thinking it had to be a cluster of clogged ducts. (If you

Since I have been on the transparent train lately, I figured it was a good time as any to share what has been eating away at me. I preface this by saying I am no perfect picture of, well anything…but you can bet your bottom dollar that I am trying my best to live better than before. Health is my primary focus this year, I have been doing so much research, reading, learning…I have been like a sponge gathering as much information about preventative care and wellness that I can.

This is something I am learning and reminding myself of daily. When I was a child I don’t ever remember focusing on an outward appearance…of course as I grew that became more important. It makes my heart hurt to think I thought I was “bigger” when looking back, I was the thinnest I have ever been. Now here I am two babies later, nine months after being diagnosed with breast cancer and I feel as far from attractive as possible. Now most of you probably are taken aback by that

For many January is the start to a refreshed workout regime, I was included in this boat. After having two babies, being diagnosed with cancer… I was out.of.shape … big time. I was nervous, yet excited to get started on my new workouts with Camp Gladiator. I showed up and noticed how focused everyone was, the music was on point…jumping all over from genre to genre, and the trainer was excited, and pumping everyone up for this evening workout. I may not have looked like everyo