Slap in the Face
Since I have been on the transparent train lately, I figured it was a good time as any to share what has been eating away at me.
I preface this by saying I am no perfect picture of, well anything…but you can bet your bottom dollar that I am trying my best to live better than before. Health is my primary focus this year, I have been doing so much research, reading, learning…I have been like a sponge gathering as much information about preventative care and wellness that I can. I am hoping I can prevent my own cancer reoccurrence, but also to help others (including my young daughters) avoid getting cancer (or some other awful disease/illness).
Once you know something you can’t UN-know. Which can be very difficult when you are the red fish in a sea of blue fish. I am hyperaware of so much these days, I cannot carry on doing what everyone else does anymore. I can’t, I just can’t.
I was never a fan of the term “ignorance is bliss,” but it is mighty ignorant to say that we all walk through life without even a trace of this “I am invincible attitude”. We may see story after story on the news about cancer diagnoses or illnesses, but how many subliminally think, “This will never happen to me, this will never happen to my family?”
Well folks, I am here to tell you it does. In fact, 1-8 women will get breast cancer, 1-2 people will get cancer… those are pretty whopping chances of falling ill to something as devastating as cancer.
Back to my main point, these days I walk through life and I am still incredibly shocked by how many people have self-destructing behavior and think nothing of it.
What is even worse is when family or friends perform these acts of self-destructing behavior in front of me or make jokes about them… Am I not proof enough that this shiitake mushroom is real? That my life, my cancer isn’t a warning to live better, to choose better, not just throw it all up in the air and live worse.
I still see people smoke in front of me and it boggles my mind how a) they still feel that is a legit okay thing to do these days 2) how they think that is even a remotely good idea in front of me while I am currently fighting for my life (yes some are complete strangers and truly have no idea).
I desperately wanted to walk up to a young, blonde woman yesterday and beg her to stop smoking. To show her what being hooked up to an IV machine with toxic chemo, where nurses are in flipping hazmat suits pumping it INTO my body is like, to show her pictures of me bald and sick, to show her how much my chemo pills are costing me every two weeks. I wanted to shake her and say, "What are you doing???"
Alas, I stared with a heavy heart from across the room, and left quickly so I didn't breathe that in.
It’s not just smoking, it is using tanning beds, allowing chemical-laden candles to blaze away all over their homes (that emit chemicals that are proven to cause cancer) to using products that have cancer causing ingredients.
It is all like a slap in the face. And in all honesty, it enrages me like nothing else. I wish I was just crystal clear honest right then and there. But I’m not all the time, I worry about what their response will be. I worry about me being seen as overbearing and abrasive. I worry about making someone feel bad.
BUT you guys!!!!!
I have dedicated my life and my career since I was diagnosed, 10 months ago, to be an advocate. To help inform, educate and be real with people about my journey and how to live a life with preventative care in mind, with true wellness in mind… ALL to help avoid my reality.
I don’t know how to be clearer than I am being. I know not all people will get it, and some won’t change… which saddens me greatly, because I hope in all of this that I am a motivation for people to change their lifestyle, to avoid the hurricane that tries to destroy my family every single day.
Cancer could careless how good your bank account looks right now, cancer doesn't give a hoot about your travel plans, cancer chuckles at your retirement plan, cancer DOES NOT CARE how happy you are.
So, when I go public about wellness, preventative care, ways to improve your life I am sharing ways I know can create a toxin free home that will help prevent this reality from wiping out you too.
Lately, I get texts, phone calls and emails on the daily asking if I can be a "cancer coach" of some sort for newly diagnosed cancer patients. How terrible is that? I love helping people, but I sure would love to help people prevent cancer in the first place.
Please think about your lifestyle, can any portion of it be improved? I know ours can, next Monday I start Whole 30… I find new ways to help live better every day.
Of course, life is about balance too, it took everything in me to bake a cake with real sugar in it for Evan’s 35th birthday (I could not convince myself to have a slice) … but it was a special occasion, everyone enjoyed it. But if you don’t think for one second the products that surround you won’t affect your life, you are sadly mistaken. If you can't do it for yourself, think about the people in your life fighting for their lives and do it for them. #livebetterthanbefore
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