Over the last eight months, I have been filling my bucket full of hope. Since my diagnosis, I was hoping that by February of this year I would be able to focus on my recovery from all treatment so that my body would be prepared for my reconstruction surgery in May. However, as I have mentioned before, each time you try to take control of your own path, God loves to remind you that you’re not in control. When we sat in my oncologist’s office after my unilateral mastectomy (during another whirlwind of emotions conversation) we were thrilled my margins were clear, but we were bummed about having to undergo chemo again.
My oncologist decided that since my tumor was so large and aggressive that taking these chemo pills, called Xeloda, would be a great option for me. She felt that since I wanted to be aggressive with my treatment, they would help insure that any microscopic, live cancer cells would be wiped out (in addition to radiation that I just completed) and keep the cancer from spreading/re-occurring.
This upcoming Wednesday I will start taking chemotherapy pills, twice a day for six, three week cycles which equals about four months. There is a whole new set of symptoms that come along with these pills… like Hand and Food Syndrome, digestive issues, rashes, chance of infection, low white blood cell count, neuropathy, etc. Thankfully, my hair will continue to grow and not be affected. Since I am having to take chemo again, I have to postpone my reconstruction surgery until after I am done and give my body time to recover.
When anyone faces this kind of new news it is not only hard to hear physically and mentally but then there is the heavy financial aspect. God has provided for our family through the first eight months and we are faithful that He will provide and send good opportunity our way in the future. We are brainstorming ways I can work from home…focusing on my writing, Young Living business, and a potential fundraiser this spring to help with medical bills. So far, this diagnosis has been more difficult than we originally thought, physically, emotionally, and financially and now we are learning that it is looking more like another nine months until we are “in the clear”. We know in all suffering, God is good and extends his mercy and grace even when we are undeserving.
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