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Since the beginning of my relationship with Evan, I have been enchanted by him. His tall, “big guy” exterior always made my heart beat faster. I loved that he was a big man, every hug made me feel so safe. His smile turns me to puddy every single time. It’s radiant. Holding his hand instantly calms my heart.

Being on this road with this man is arduous…I cannot fathom finding out that he was diagnosed with cancer. I think this may be every husband’s nightmare. But, he fell in stride immediately. His personality is to take charge, control the situation and demand the best outcome. So, he cooks me incredibly fresh meals, he tucks Halen into bed, he organizes my pill box, he reminds me to rest and to not overload my schedule. His love language is acts of kindness and quality time. He wants to wash my car and cuddle (in the manliest way possible) on the couch.

From the beginning of our relationship, I attached to Taylor Swift’s, “Enchanted” song… I loved the words...they seemed to be written about how we started out. I loved the way it sounded. It always yanked my heart, every single time. {Music and lyrics are very inspirational to me and in my already uber emotional, sentimental brain, I attach to songs for my daughters, Evan or situations I may be facing in life and I cling to them.}

Cancer and marriage are a challenging duo. You have one fighting to survive and one as a caretaker. Both extremely difficult roles. Our vows like most, promised to be there…be there when times got tough. We even included a piece about the bitter and the sweet. Accepting that there would be bitter times…tragedies, pain. Neither of us ever expected that section of our vows to come into reality only six short years after our wedding day. In the beginning, when a situation like ours occurs it is almost like a honeymoon, all you want to do is be together, every word is thoughtful and kind, every action is careful and loving. Then as time moves into the thick of the treatments, and life forces its way on…marriage is like any other and is tested.

Yes, I have cancer…but I still have kids to mother, I have dirty dishes to put away, I have laundry to fold, I have teeth to brush, I have a job to do, we have to get our kids to pre-school, gymnastics and swim. Evan has a job, he goes to the grocery store, he cleans our house and cars, he fathers our children. No matter what hand of cards life deals you with…it is pretty clear pretty fast that life goes on. In that, a marriage can face trials. One woman from my coping with breast cancer class just got divorced. I was blown away…one of the most challenging things she will ever face and for whatever reason they felt it was best to go their separate ways.

Divorce is one of my biggest fears. Being a product of it, I was wary to date and when I found Evan I was instantly filled with enchantment. I cannot envision foraging this road without him, on my side, as my best friend, my man, my confidant, my person. I try my hardest to show my appreciation for all that he does. Tension can rise so fast with all that our family is trying to handle. But at the end of the day… as we climb into bed, we know that we will make it through this, our hearts and perspective has forever changed and we yearn for life to begin again in June 2018. I know he is doing his absolute best and cares so much for me. He has been to every single one of my appointments and treatments, holding my hand the entire way. He makes me laugh, and I make his heart grow… as our Friend’s episode comes to a close, we fall asleep hand in hand. Enchanted.

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