be still and smile

I remember growing up and going over to friends’ houses to spend the night, the obligatory pizza was served and of course pop to go with it. Okay okay, here in Texas everything is a Coke. Or soda I guess. (When your parents are from Michigan, you are raised saying pop.) But we never had pop in my house, we were one of the families who were becoming healthier and venturing out of the 70s microwave dinner phenomenon. So, I never wanted pop. I wanted milk. We were raised on milk

Three years ago I had an impressive baby belly with what I would soon to find out was an 8 lb 9 oz baby in my womb. My first born came right on time, on her due date (at 9 lbs). So I had an inkling that my second would come early. This go round I decided to choose a mid-wife which was the best decision I could ever make. Being a first time mom, I had no idea what I was doing. I just felt like I was thrown into the Spanish running of the bulls, trying to keep up. I denied the

Who is ready for 2018 to go? Anyone wish it would linger a little longer? I have always found myself ready for a new year, ready for a new Monday... ready to start fresh. 2018 was quite the year for our family... the second half of my cancer journey took place in 2018... Don’t get me wrong 2018 had some pretty fantastic moments… my daughters growing and learning just brings me so much joy. It snowed in Texas as we rang in the New Year, which is pretty uncommon and awesome. We

My oldest daughter is fixated on treats. Currently if my four-year-old wipes her bottom herself (cleanly) then she gets a treat, if my two-year-old goes potty on the potty, she gets a treat. So now they try every opportunity to do these things to get a treat. When did childhood = sugar??? Makes me cringe. For us treats are ones I have thoroughly read the label on from Whole Foods or the natural side of HEB or Trader Joes. Usually a gummy treat where I can read every single in

Today I am having another mastectomy and reconstruction surgery. It is the biggest, longest surgery I will have to go through in this cancer battle. It will be a grueling recovery, even more so since I have little ones at home. I cannot lift for 3 months and I have a two-year-old. I was sad to see my rightie go back in November, but to be completely honest I am sadder this time around to see lefty go. Why? Well lefty was the good side. Lefty is where my girls spent most of th

These days it is so easy to just kick your feet up and relax without feeling the pressure to exert yourself. Many have welcomed a blasé attitude toward working hard and exercise, brushing aside it’s rising importance. For survivors and warriors of any kind, we do not have this luxury… our bodies are being compromised, stretched, poked, prodded, pulled, pushed, and exhausted by medicines fighting diseases within. Which gives us all the more reason to focus on exercise. I want

When you choose (God chooses) the person you will spend the rest of your life with, and you go through the smitten phase, the “I’m the Queen of America” stage (aka when he proposed...yes I said this out loud 🤣), to the googly eyed wedding planning phase, to OMG I am walking down the aisle...to the point where you say the vows you’ve poured over and worked on for months. When you are gazing into the eyes of the person you are vowing to spend the rest of your life with...as yo

Mom shaming vs. constructive criticism Oftentimes as moms we get overwhelmed, frustrated, and our stress runs high. Everyone is telling us how to parent, book after book, blog after blog, advice after advice. Whatever happened to listening to our intuition? What ever happened to confidence as a parent, that what we choose to do is right for our kid… right for our family. Why do we as moms care so much about what other people think and say about how we parent? I am embarrassed

I wake up in the morning and my hands are swollen, they hurt to even close them. I cringe as I pry open my medicine, which is a pain I never thought I would face. I have cracks deep in my toes that I have to apply care to each night, I have skin peeling off my feet. My hands look like I have had my hands stuck in a water basin all day…absolute prunes. My digestive system is all out of whack, not knowing up from down. This is what I face each day with my current chemo pills. A

Change is hard. No one embraces change with ease or contentment…unless they are faced with such a dire circumstance that forces them to have a difficult mental discussion within their own head where change is imperative. I feel that is where I was. When I was diagnosed, almost a year ago I knew I had to make a serious change. At first it was easy, I was running on adrenaline and moving through the motions of appointments and scans. But then chemo started…the red “devil” prett

Hey hey mamas! So, I am on day 26 of my Whole30 challenge and I feel amazing. Wow have I seen serious changes! I truly feel like all I had to do was change my mindset and then it all fell into place. I have struggled with my weight/appearance for the last 10+ years. I know much of that was my own mental game, where I needed to extend myself more grace, acceptance, and self-love. However, society does not promote that. I tried everything, every diet, every idea, even some scar

For real though, this has been the best thing I have done for myself this year. It has been a long time coming for me to get my eggs in a basket for this commitment. I took long enough justifying and claiming I needed this and that. Finally, in March I made the decision to start Whole30 in April, so all of March I had time to start eliminating certain bad foods and to wrap my head around it mentally. That part I think was key, it is too hard to jump from burgers and cheesecak

Our church is doing a special series on mental health called, The Unmentionables. The first one was last week and it was fantastic. I love that our pastor isn’t afraid to speak beyond the fluff, to core issues that our society deals with…even if they aren’t PC. Last week the focus was on depression, anxiety and suicide… it didn’t take long for tears to start streaming down my face during the sermon as he discussed the ins and outs of what anxiety and depression really are. Be

Since I have been on the transparent train lately, I figured it was a good time as any to share what has been eating away at me. I preface this by saying I am no perfect picture of, well anything…but you can bet your bottom dollar that I am trying my best to live better than before. Health is my primary focus this year, I have been doing so much research, reading, learning…I have been like a sponge gathering as much information about preventative care and wellness that I can.

It is time to be real, to be transparent about my journey. Have you ever cared so deeply about something that it just becomes a part of you? It becomes like a sensation, that starts in your heart and spreads until you take action and DO something about what you truly care about. Over the last nine months my life has turned upside down… my health has always been important to me, so to be diagnosed with breast cancer with no genetic correlation just baffled me. Then I started t

How do you stay well in the wintertime? We dove into essential oils 2 ½ years ago. Why? Evan had terrible headaches, turned migraines. Halen had incessant ear infections. I was over the OTC drugs that created a band aid, but not a solution. I was determined to find something better for our family. I did my research, just like anyone should do when welcoming something new into their home. I talked to my husband about it, most know he is super critical. We both gave a smiling n

For many January is the start to a refreshed workout regime, I was included in this boat. After having two babies, being diagnosed with cancer… I was out.of.shape … big time. I was nervous, yet excited to get started on my new workouts with Camp Gladiator. I showed up and noticed how focused everyone was, the music was on point…jumping all over from genre to genre, and the trainer was excited, and pumping everyone up for this evening workout. I may not have looked like everyo

When I first walked in to the chemotherapy room I cried. The sad, slow, tears streaming down my face, and trembling…I was scared. But toward the end of that infusion I saw someone celebrate her bell ringing. I was so inspired, I cried and it gave me hope. And from that point forward I decided I wanted to be that for someone…be an inspiration, be a ray of hope. In this five months, I have learned enough to alter my way of living. I learned that I have an amazing support system

I had a hard weekend. I let darkness creep into my mind, and instead of my sweeping it aside like my normally happy-go-lucky self does, I let it settle in and stay. I was sensitive and took my friends and family's busy-ness personally as not caring about my situation…which is ridiculous and deep down I knew the Devil was trying to convince me of terrible thoughts. I cried a lot. I wallowed in self-pity. It was just not good. Then I prayed. I woke up Monday morning and decided

Tuesdays have quickly become one of my favorite days of the week. It all starts with coffee and front porch sitting with my Halen girl, or cuddling up on the couch. I enjoy the quiet moments with just Halen before our Henley girl awakes. Something about mornings brings me a jolt of joy…maybe it’s the promise of a new day, a clean slate, Jesus renewed love, my girls’ big smiles…whatever it is I find mornings quite romantic. I sip my steaming cup of hot coffee all cozy in my ja